Carl's partner Bob died. Bob's parents would not allow Carl to play a role in Bob's funeral plans and Bob's healthcare providers did not recognize Carl's decision- making authority. Peggy's beloved dog Lolly died three months ago, and her friends don't understand the depth of her grief. Janet's ex-husband died in a car accident, and her friends think she should be glad he is finally out of her life instead of being sad and grieving. Barbara's best friend committed suicide, and she feels more judgment than compassion from her peers regarding the death.
These are all examples of what has been called (Doka, 1989) "disenfranchised grief." Disenfranchised grief has been described as "a grief that persons experience when they sustain a loss that is not or cannot be openly acknowledged, publicly mourned or socially supported" (Doka, 1989, p. 6). Disenfranchised grievers may feel that they don't have the right to grieve, and may feel abandoned or isolated in their pain. Validation, acknowledgement and support are vital to the healing of grief, and when these elements are missing, the grief process can become complicated and difficult, requiring professional grief counseling.